One stormy winter’s night, several years ago, as darkness fell, I heard a knock at the door.   Surprised that anyone would call unexpectedly at such a  time, I discovered on the doorstep a slight, fair lady about my own age, whose car had broken down.   She had come out minus her mobile phone and she  requested the use of our telephone.   We brought her in.   Her husband, she told us, was at a dinner to mark his retirement.   The lady was Barbara K— and she became my friend.

We phoned for help for her car.   We warmed her up and fed her.   John went out and waited for the AA man.   She and I talked.

There are as many surprising things about Barbara as there were about our meeting.

Normally when I make a friend, I’ve looked at the person and considered them for some time.  (I’m not talking  here about  the ranks of one’s friendly acquaintances, valued though they are.)     I’m always slightly reluctant to admit anyone to the inner circle of my intimates because once they’re in that circle, I’m never going to be indifferent to them again.    So I generally view them for some time from my watchtower, as it were.   If all goes well, I descend to the gate and observe them through the bars.   Eventually, I open the gates.   Surprisingly, perhaps, after all this scrutiny, most people do choose to enter when the gates are open, though some with caution.   I don’t think I could be described as friendly and open at first glance.

But there was none of this with Barbara.   She stormed the gates, and there she was.

She’s a pretty lady, but self deprecating.   She’s clever too, but you’d never know it to hear her speak of herself.   She runs a nice line in artless, seemingly rambling chat. But she’s extremely smart and savvy and her observations are spot-on.    I love talking to her.   She’s witty and amusing, and also sensitive and deep.   She’s also very kind, generous and unselfish and gives of herself without counting the cost, perhaps more sometimes than she should.

So over the last few years, I’ve enjoyed her company.    She shares many of my interests.   She’s very good at crafts and sewing and she has a fantastic eye for colour.   She’s fun.    She made a fabulous silk ‘coat of many colours’ from samples of silk curtains, which as well as being beautiful, cost next to nothing and is light, luxurious and warm.    Her husband is lovely too and he and John walked and golfed.   We had lunch together.   We all like camping/caravanning.

So you can imagine my dismay when she announced out of the blue that for perfectly good reasons they were moving to Goring.   Goring? I thought.   What’s Goring got that we haven’t got in Haywards Heath?    Well, it has the sea obviously…   I would say, facetiously, that it hasn’t got ME, but people might think I meant this seriously.   I know I’m not a prominent person in Barbara’s life – she’s got children, step-children, grandchildren, friends of long standing.   Even so, I thought, Goring….

I’m going to miss her.   I know Goring isn’t far away.    I hope to visit there and gain a good impression of Goring.    I hope they’ll come back and stay with us here.   We might meet elsewhere together with our camping/caravan outfits.   It’s a different phase.   Besides, I want her to be happy.

She blew in on a storm, but I hope she sails out on a sunny day, and may she always find friends to share with as easily as she chanced upon me.    But after all, this is a woman who can disarm the best guarded citadels with practised ease.   So I guess she’ll be perfectly fine.   I’m the one who’ll do the missing.


About adhocannie
I am a good natured woman with a long memory and a swift tongue. I like loooking at things and thinking about them. Also food, clothes, travel, reading, sewing. I try to see the ridiculous in things, but sobriety of reflection keeps edgting in. I have husband, children, grandchildren, friends... I feel rich in things that matter. I am a happy exile. I like writing. I do not like talking about me (though I do.). You willl be much more interesting.


  1. Nan says:

    I empathise.

  2. BarbaraK says:

    Ha! you don’t get rid of me that easily!! Don’t forget that I shall dump my orchids on you before we leave and then have the excuse to come back to Haywards Heath to pick them up, and probably get fed. Your comments about me were too kind, I shall be blushing all day. X

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: