I’d better introduce myself. I’m Dog, Golden Retriever. The name’s Milo.

I’ve been away from home with my main man and his lady. They call it holidays, which means you don’t have to work, but I still have to guard my party, see off other dogs, encourage the main man to do more walks for the good of his health, and prevent wastage of food.

We went in the car. It was full up of my lady’s clothes. There was only just enough room for me.

The first night we stayed in a hotel. It was a dangerous place. All through the night thieves and persons up to no good would come right up to our door. I stayed awake so I could do my ‘I am a dog with vicious teeth’ wolf-howl. The main man kept telling me to be quiet and in the morning my lady was cross with me because she said she hadn’t slept. She wasn’t in the least bit grateful that she was saved from nasty intruders.

We then went in a ship which was sitting in a huge puddle, and I wanted to explore it but they locked me in the car and went off and left me! I did my wolf howl several times!

When eventually after a long drive with several stops for me, we got to the house of the holiday, my lady’s parents were already there, cooking food. My lady’s father is good for extra walks when the main man is being lazy, and my lady’s mother is always good for a nice cuddle, and she doesn’t tell on me when I sneak under the table beside her. Sometimes she drops bits of her food too, so I work hard keeping under her chair free from crumbs. The only problem with them is that they keep getting lost. We’ll be having a walk and suddenly they stop and turn back while the main man and his lady stride on. I rush after them and tell them several times they’re going the wrong way but they never listen. I was always amazed how they managed to find their way back to the house without the main man.

There were hens at the house – silly birds that can’t fly. We were supposed to feed them and collect the eggs. I used to sneak off when no-one was looking and approach their hut from the back where they couldn’t see me and creep up and give a quick, quiet, woof. They would be all flutter and flap and squawk as if they thought I was the red fox that eats hens. I am much bigger than fox and I do not eat hens. One of them fell off her perch dead one day, but that was nothing to do with me.

The big puddle was great fun, though it was a bit alarming at first – the water would sneak up behind you and try to grab you. But the main man would stay near, and I knew the big puddle would not dare to snaffle me if he was there. And it was good to swim in. It tasted salty. There were interesting things on the beach – dead birds and fish that had got left behind – they smelled fascinating but my lady would turn her nose up and not allow me to clean up the beach. I would get a bit miffed with the main man when I would come out of the big puddle and he would make me stand under a drip of not salty water to ‘clean me up’. But I could usually find a small muddy puddle and I would wallow in it and then roll in some lovely smelling earth and then my lady would call me disgusting. I’m not sure what disgusting means but I like being disgusting, especially because I get washed when we get back – I don’t like that bit – but then when I am almost dry my lady would brush me, and when my lady brushes me and says I am the best doggy in the world – well, I know that of course, but when my lady whispers it, I feel wonderful.

French dogs aren’t up to much, usually rather small and silly. Mind you, I saw one sitting at a table eating with his people and I hoped my people would see what an excellent idea this was.

So I thought this holiday idea was great fun. I recommend you all go on one with your people.

After all, it was good for Milo, and everybody knows that what’s good for Milo is good for the people.

About adhocannie
I am a good natured woman with a long memory and a swift tongue. I like loooking at things and thinking about them. Also food, clothes, travel, reading, sewing. I try to see the ridiculous in things, but sobriety of reflection keeps edgting in. I have husband, children, grandchildren, friends... I feel rich in things that matter. I am a happy exile. I like writing. I do not like talking about me (though I do.). You willl be much more interesting.

2 Responses to DOG DAYS

  1. Wonderful! Really made me laugh

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